May 19th Journal Entry

A warm shower this morning, a dry blanket, and I feel better. But I also feel like a wimp. I had to come home, when I might have been able to wait out the rain for a few more days. I will be thinking about this. I don't want to quit. I want to go on. I will be going back with much less clothing, bedding and cooking gear. The eleven foot raft will have much less room. I will need to make changes in my cooking style, more aluminum foil, more fish, and lots of fruits. No cans, a pot for boilings, peanut butter, vitamins. No underwear bottoms, because I will be peeing while afloat.
Still, I need people. I talk with them, hug and share with them. Can you arrange this, dear? I know the journey is the right thing to do. A test of courage, a trial by fire, perhaps? I know this is right, but I have nothing to prove. You are with me no matter what. You will bless me with joy always, even when I starve and freeze, if my bed is afloat.
I will not know the reason until this journey ends, continues, ends. I will continue. I will end it later. I will think about this more.

May 19th Journal Entry

A warm shower this morning, a dry blanket, and I feel better. But I also feel like a wimp. I had to come home, when I might have been able to wait out the rain for a few more days. I will be thinking about this. I don't want to quit. I want to go on. I will be going back with much less clothing, bedding and cooking gear. The eleven foot raft will have much less room. I will need to make changes in my cooking style, more aluminum foil, more fish, and lots of fruits. No cans, a pot for boilings, peanut butter, vitamins. No underwear bottoms, because I will be peeing while afloat.
Still, I need people. I talk with them, hug and share with them. Can you arrange this, dear? I know the journey is the right thing to do. A test of courage, a trial by fire, perhaps? I know this is right, but I have nothing to prove. You are with me no matter what. You will bless me with joy always, even when I starve and freeze, if my bed is afloat.
I will not know the reason until this journey ends, continues, ends. I will continue. I will end it later. I will think about this more.

March 18th Journal Entry

Wednesday, Again, I waited for the rain to stop. It took a lot of effort to get a fire started. Its good that I do not make large fires. I had to walk 1/4 mile to find a dead, still standing fir tree. I stripped dry bark slabs adn filled them with shredded inner bark. I used this to start the fire and make a small bed of coals. I called Jammie to ask for a ride home later. I can not stay out here and be this damp and cold. I will take my bedding home to dry it.
Gosh, I was cold last night on a wet futon mattress, under wet blankets. Even though I bundled up in a track warm-up suit, two pairs of socks and a sweater, I was cold.
I have walked all the trails in the State Park. I imagine that it really is time to leave here. Maybe by Saturday my raft will come. I'll launch from this dock are, cross the lake and then short portage around the dam. But it is more likely, I will exit the Interstate at exit 105 and launch from the Little River launch ramp. I will miss two miles of the lake, but I will not have to carry everything. Maybe Sunday or Monday if the raft comes from Jim Luckett by slow express.
Some sun! A mixed day now. I returned the red worms to the ground, packed all my things, wrapping everything in plastic as the rain began again.
Loaded up when Jammie came. She said I should stay in Wytheville until Lorrie's baby comes. Then I can be Auntie Dawn. I am not sure that is a good idea. I feel I should be letting Mikey and Lorrie have some space and a house for their own. I will go to check on assisted housing, but I don't expect much.
Good night, Daddy. Let me know if I am wrong.

April Fool's Day Launch

Got this habit, Father, of skipping the backside of a writing paper page. I guess I don't like the possibility of the ink bleeding through. It bugs me when that happens because its so hard to read. My hand is small mostly so anything that makes my small writing even harder to puzzle out is definitely not good. I don't like losing thoughts, even if I am just rambling to you. I wonder if that comes from having lost so many memories on super shock day?
I love April Fool's Day and its only three weeks away. Baptized on April 1st, released from Ft. Leavenworth Penitentiary on April Fools, with possibly two of my girls conceived on that day, I love the should be a holiday. Now, I hope to start floating on April Fools Day. More than one person has said that this is a fool's journey.
Times change and nothing stays the same for long. There will be times coming when floating on the rivers and living off the land will be seen as a good way to live. I've had my children grown and not many of them would like me to always be around embarrassing them. I figure moving on is just something I should get and stay used to.
Thinking that turning the car window shade solar cooker to the night sky might make it a cooler instead of a stove. That could be real interesting. Hoping it works out. Should be able to make ice up until June. Maybe putting an aluminum funnel in a Styrofoam box could freeze the whole thing. Ice in the mornings.
This boat-float-home green project is wonderfully strange. Thanks for the opportunity.